I’m currently preparing a lecture for the largest Chinese medicine conference in the world which is held every year in Germany.  This idea of relationships is at the heart of my presentation and based on thousands of years of Chinese medicine philosophy.  The gist, is that the entire universe including people as a microcosm of the universe, are all part of the fundamental laws of nature.  Everything is about the relationship of everything to everything else and in a constant state of transformation.  The tide changes from high to low and the day changes from day to night.  Our bodies also transform from young to old and even from infertile to fertile.  With the right nurturing and focus on how everything affects everything else (any physics geeks out there?….for every action there is a reaction;), we have the ability to change and heal IF we focus on the relationships in our world and not the things.

What do I mean by this?  I mean this both literally and figuratively.  Focus on the relationships you have with people and living souls in your life, as well as on your relationships to the world around you.  Nothing is ever permanent and trying to fight that only causes misery and grief.  Allow yourself to feel the impermanence of the moment.  If you’re sad, be sad and if you’re mad, be mad.  But then allow yourself to move from that state of emotion to the next.  Only when we do this can we keep the energy moving in our bodies as we are flowing with the movement of the universe.   When we try to fight these emotions or linger in them for too long we may create so much disharmony in our bodies that states of disease including infertility can arise.

Focus on the relationships you have with people and living souls in your life,
as well as on your relationships to the world around you.

So if you get mad about something, pay attention to what thing may have made you mad and shift your focus to the relationship of that thing and how that thing is not constant.  For example, someone posted a comment about their fertility success and it made you sad.  Allow yourself to feel the sadness.  But then don’t focus on how that “thing” (the comment) is rocking your world because it’s not about the thing at all.  The comment is a static point in time and by dwelling on it you are perpetuating sadness and grief in your body.  Instead, focus on the movement (the relationship) of that comment flowing through your body and out, thereby allowing space for new emotions to enter.  Not to mention, that someone else’s joy really has nothing to do with you and harboring anger towards them because they are experiencing happiness only affects your unhappiness (see another relationship pattern here;).  You have the ability to change your perspective by changing your focus on the thing to the relationship of things instead.

As for the physical relationships, it’s the same.  When we focus on nurturing the flow of our relationships rather than on the things in our relationships we create more joy in our lives.  When trying to conceive we often focus so much on the ‘thing’ we want most, the baby, that we create a lot of sadness and anger within ourselves.  I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t have hope and dreams of having a baby, we absolutely need these.  But by focusing on getting the baby, we lose our sense of our relationship to the universe.  By focusing instead on the relationship of our body to flow with nature (eating according to the seasons, walking in nature, smelling the salt air, hugging your partner), we shift our body from a state of fear to a state of receiving.  And when our bodies are in harmony with this flow of the world and open to receiving, the baby is more inclined to enter our world.

I love the works of Dr. Joe Dispenza because he gets me to challenge my way of thinking. Originally trained as a chiropracter, Dr. Dispenza is an international speaker and author and has extensively researched the neuroscience and quantum physics behind healing and our mind.  He asked the question, “Can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state, you don’t need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?”  This is so true and exactly what I’m talking about.  Don’t let the external world of things cause you so much distress that you create internal disharmony.  You can change your internal state by flowing with the universe instead of fighting it.  You are in charge of your own joy and fertile health so capture the moment.